I've spent a long time in my life thinking about religion. I thought I had gone through this phase in the mid 90's, but it has come back in my life. Because of my grandmother's health, I've begun to notice it again.
Last time it began with a questioning of the Pentecostal church. They were beginning to get too political for me and their politics were getting to be very different than mine. That hasn't lessened with time and the Evangencial Christians seem to be trying to put church (theirs) and state together into a lovely theocracy. This isn't going to be a Christian slamming session. I'm listing this for history's sake.
In July 1992, my mother committed suicide. As with the case of any suicide, there is a hell of a lot of soul searching as every survivor tries to rationalize the damn thing. There really wasn't anything to rationalize. She was unbalanced and refused to see a shrink. When we all got tired of the unbalancing, she decided to "teach us a lesson." Her method was by taking a bunch of sleeping pills, starting up two cars in a garage, and then inhale a bunch of carbon monoxide and never wake up. Pretty pathetic, really, but back then, it was unreal and devastating. My Grandfather never did understand and it may have helped hasten his death. I remember getting a religious book from my friend's mom, but not reading it. By that time, the Pentecostal way and I split ways, never to return. I don't knock it for others, but it's not my thing.
Around that time, a girl I had a crush on was going through similar issues. In her case, it was a holier-than-thou would be partner who nearly drove her to the same place my mom went. Her solution to that was to do a complete 180 and she began to check out Paganism. Shortly there after, she identified herself as a witch. In the course of helping her figure out just what that was going to entail, I got a dose of the pagan beliefs. Some of them were pretty out there. Spells and prayers were pretty much interchangeable and I thought both of them were equally ineffective at the time.
At least, she was a green witch. I discovered the differences between green and black (and I'm not talking card game here), and if I think there's any black magic associated with a place or item, I will not enter there or have anything to do with the item. That's about the only quirky superstition I carry from the 90's. For some reason, Paganism was popular back then (or at least I was thinking so at the time).
I will say this though. There were some "oddness" I found enjoyable and enlightening. From time to time, I play with the I Ching, and when I felt the need to leave thoughts of religion, I promised that I would continue researching Oriental Philosophy when I was ready. To this day, I refer to religion, or the lack of it as a path.
Lack of religion, otherwise known as Atheism, has become the new Paganism. The two have some differences, obviously. I only compare them this way because it seems to be the new "anti-Christianity" to me. It seems to be the main "non-Christian religion" at work, and in StumbleUpon, I have come across more atheism sites than pagan ones. Keep in mind that I wasn't really actively searching for either. I'm sure if I googled "wicca", it wouldn't be long before I located them. There is something else that links the two in my mind. Both of them would love to see Christianity wiped off the face of the Earth even if the followers won't say that to your face. The tone is there, though.
This isn't to say that both are advocating holy war. Just that neither would miss Christians should they accidentally disappear one day. Yes, I am familiar with Revelations.
All of which brings me to the one religious truth that Pagans, Christians, Muslims (I watch the news too), and Atheists all share.
They all sound f**king alike!!! The tone is EXACTLY the same. Saying that, unless you are near a tolerant soul, will get you into a fight. So that's the number one thing.
All off them though, speak as if they are wrongly accused of some horrible deed that they obviously didn't do. They are the oppressed in a world that has it in for them. They don't know why this is, except that it may be evil, but it is unacceptable. And now, it is time to rise up against this evil. This is what I hear when I hear the above speak. It's the voice of disenfranchisement. It says my way or no way. Either you are with me or against me, etc.
Frankly, I'm tired of war, whether it be physical or spiritual. We should find a more peaceful way to live our lives, really. Maybe this is why Buddhism is beginning to appeal to me. All they say is "this is our path, come or stay, your choice." I can live with that. Although ultimately, I think I will just try to take the lessons without any of the religiony (or lack thereof) nonsense.